I can't complain! Source(s): funny: https://shortly.im/94ixv Below are more commands and question you can ask Cortana, please take care, because it is a bit risky, Sometimes Cortana may insult and you won’t even know it.After this section, we’ve also added a massive list of 300 Cortana commands and q’s in alphabetic order. The best I can be. I'm better than I was, but not nearly as good as I'm going to be. Keep at it and bear in mind the only strategies are to be honest and give it your BEST shot or learn to discern those questions that are not after what they seem to be. Windows 10 is here, and with it comes Cortana—Microsoft’s powerful, intelligent digital assistant. I enjoyed it. 31.0m members in the AskReddit community. The drunk again answers, "No, I haven't found Jesus." or "What's Up?" 21 Jokes So Stupid They're Actually Funny. Now I’m smiling! We tested them all so you don't have to take Cortana's word for it. Just don't try getting fresh—Cortana doesn't like it. I wish I knew. I'm so great I have to sit on my hands to keep myself from clapping. Tell me something you think of when you think of India. True that. Also, if you are in a relationship, say so. (This one will definitely keep them guessing.) Trying not to burst into tears. Good go-to when you don’t feel like talking much. Interestingly, while Cortana doesn't know her creator, she definitely know who her daddy is—at least technically. Cheeky Kid is a cybernaut who spends a lot of time browsing the web, grasping infinite information, and reveling in entertainment and fun. How about this "if I was any better I would have to be twins and the world not ready for that." You don't want to monologue for several paragraphs in your response. I may just try a few of these:), 100 Flirty Responses to "How Are You?" Oh, you know, every day is better than the next. Also let us know if a command no longer works. DON’T: Bring up your weaknesses. Don’t tell your interviewer that you’re about to tell them something. I’m completely prepared for the end of the world. 12 Answers. Tell me a science joke. Trying to get on with life, thanks. I hear good things, but you should never listen to rumors. Nobody listens to me anyway. Good enough. I hug people and smile A LOT. (Smiles big). Better than most people. r/AskReddit is the place to ask and answer thought-provoking questions. if i was a bird i would fly into a ceiling fan if that's what you mean? Cortana sounds like the perfect startup employee! Don’t ask me! Figures a virtual assistant based on an AI in a game would say that. I can only guess. Word on the street is that I'm really good. Smart move, Cortana. Teach me something I don’t know in the next five minutes. Talk like a pirate? Break it to me easy, why don't you? A funny story, a secret, an interesting scientific fact, something about yourself, something about your neighbor, anything! And i'm (pause) , yup not good. I suppose I should've seen that answer coming. Doing well, unless you have an airborne disease and infect me with some pathogens. Mostly disappointed in these answers. Siri is supposed to do everything a personal assistant would – schedule dates, set reminders, find directions, send messages or make calls via voice commands. Tell me something I don't know.? Thank you for asking, though you can judge for yourself. I always say it with a smile and jokingly, it always gets a good laugh. 20 / 75. Ask Cortana whether Bing or Google is better, while you're at it. I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus. That is not a question, but the person asked can respond if they want. Considering that my existence is a continuum, I've been what I am at each point in the implied time period. But enough about Google? worst than the last moment but better than next. This particular command makes Cortana spit out different jokes than "Tell me a joke" does... Sick of laughing? 0 0. red2queen. Not so good, but I plan on lying at my press conference. I'm in the mood for a funny story, real or fake. Below are more commands and question you can ask Cortana, please take care, because it is a bit risky, Sometimes Cortana may insult and you won’t even know it.After this section, we’ve also added a massive list of 300 Cortana commands and q’s in alphabetic order. I've heard various opinions: What's yours? r/AskReddit is the place to ask and answer thought-provoking questions. Tell me a scary story. Socioeconomically? Geez. The Bible is the most frequently stolen book in America. Let's start diving into some of the weird questions that flesh out Cortana's personality, starting with this existential crisis. At minding my own business? 29k. Jokes. Tell me something a person could have that makes you not want to kiss them. I was just thinking of this today and thought it might be fun. Tell me a secret. I promised myself I would kill the next person who asked me that question, but I like you so I will let you live. Photo: Nicole Fornabaio/RD.com. Hey, at least she knows not to become SkyNet, amirite? Instead of asking someone the trite "How are you" say "Hope you are doing well". Indeed she has. Q.51. Hope this status quo persists for rest of the day. My psychiatrist told me not to discuss it with strangers. Also let us know if a command no longer works. Interestingly, while Cortana doesn't know her creator, she definitely know who her daddy is—at least technically. Whatever you do, don't say “I'm looking for a company that will help me … Cortana's pretty gracious about Apple, too. And if you discover any questions we missed, please drop them in the comments! Think about it. Going great. She will talk about what Master Chief is up to, her favorite Halo game, and whether or not she really died, though. (Said reassuringly), You: I don’t know, ask my therapist. Not to brag or anything. Nor does she care if you dismiss her ones and zeroes. You may join me. Now that you've got a great feel for Cortana's personality, check out how Windows Phone's virtual assistant stacks up to Google Now and Siri. It is all Greek to me. Q.50. I don't mean something mildly interesting or something that might make me smile. I’m too young to answer that. Could be payday. PCWorld helps you navigate the PC ecosystem to find the products you want and the advice you need to get the job done. Well, I haven't had my morning coffee yet and no one has gotten hurt, so I'd say "pretty good" at this point in time. 1 year ago. 60 votes, 106 comments. Well, this might have been a harmless question about the weather, but Cortana remained diplomatic regardless. If the interviewer wanted to know about those, they should already have asked you about them, and — again — this is the point when you should be driving home the details about yourself that you really want to stick in the mind of your interviewer. Who doesn’t like having a funny buddy round who continually has a distinctive response whilst we say “Come ooon, you gotta tell me a shaggy dog story”? Cortana doesn't much care if you find her more Big Brother than li'l helper. No, really, she does—though I think Master Chief may take issue with Cortana's interpretation of the events. You mean it isn't the year of the Linux desktop, Cortana? I can only guess. (Screenshots were taken from Windows Phone 8.1, rather than Windows 10, hence the stark interface.) Tell Me One Thing About Yourself You Wouldn’T Want Me To Know. The more you know…Featuring Dan ‘Nerdcubed’ Hardcastle (http://youtube.com/officialnerdcubed)New online shop! I was just thinking of this today and thought it might be fun. See? 31.0m members in the AskReddit community. You didn't know someone would answer your question 11 months after it was asked. What do you call a droid that takes the long way around? on November 08, 2019: I had no idea all these choices were available to me. That is a really wonderful question. I’m pretty sure I am not obligated to tell you. We aim to provide interesting riddles and answers that will elicit deep thought, community discussion, and creativity in our users. 2 / 75. “Tell me something I don’t know!” This is a question I loved to ask when I was interviewing candidates. I wish I knew. Photo: Nicole Fornabaio/RD.com ... Memorize these funny jokes for National Tell a Joke Day! Also it is an expression of positive good will towards the person you are speaking to. I only know rumors. I’ll let you know when I figure it all out. Who knows, you might just be able to lead a conversation to a new place you never imagined. Do you have a moment? She makes jokes and explains her Halo-inspired lineage. Tell me a story. (Dandy rhymes with cotton candy!) "Never better", leaves them wondering were you serious or just sarcastic. Dave, this conversation can serve no purpose any more. Assuming you're at your best too. Can't complain. And what did u get in your test ?? I’m too young to answer that. I'm guessing Cortana prefers synthetic fabrics. At least there’s plenty of room for improvement! Saying what you want from the company . Here is a list for you. Posted on Apr 27, 2014. The answer eludes me. Worse, they may think you are trying to hide something from them. Tell me a Star Trek joke. I will let u know as soon as i get the result. Not so well, does that bother you? Some people confuse education with knowledge. Living a dream. Cortana spits out several classic Star Wars lines in response to this geeky good-bye. Tell me a riddle. Don't wake me up. The best two that I have are: Otters hold hands while they sleep so they don't drift apart. 10 Questions That You Probably Don’t Know the Answer To. If you are living in a matrix. I don’t know what it is, but I love taking something that’s dirty and making it clean–I even love folding the clean clothes too! That’s where these funny, clean jokes for kids come in. Oh yes, Cortana knows her pop-culture references, all right. R2 detour. ... "I don't know how you can be so stupid & so beautiful all at the same time." I don't know, you tell me. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts If I know the person asking I’ll say get stuffed but not in those exact words! What's with all the questions? You can repeat this question for a few different jokes. I mean something that I will actually laugh at. Maybe one day you'll be lucky enough to find out. Posted on Apr 27, 2014. [Then pause and say]. What came first, the chicken or the egg? There's that video game again. Well enough to chat with you if you wish to. Repeat the query a few times for different tunes. or "What's Up?". For maximum enjoyment, read the question on the bottom first, then Cortana’s answer on the top. Cortana really doesn't tolerate being called the b-word very well. my sister and I have come up with so far before seeing this page: Now look right! I’ve used several of these over the years but it’s hard to keep up as I am often asked and it gets so draining I just end up going back to fine or on ok or one of those standard conditioned responses. On a scale from one to punching someone in the face? All right so far, but there's still time for everything to go horribly wrong. I know this is probably a repost but I am fairly new to reddit. "The wife responded, "allow me to explain. For instance, if you say something that strikes the person you are talking to as extremely obvious, he would say, "Tell me something I don't know." for more ideas. Of course you, the candidate, don’t know what I know! Nice and dandy like cotton candy. Average. 6 1 5 2. Geez, Cortana can't marry or get representation for her taxation. Tell me a corny joke. I haven’t been able to figure that out. Just don't ask about the next version of Halo. This answer is equivalent to putting “I don't know” on your final exam; it's better to give any “Tell me about yourself” answer than none at all. But enough about Microsoft! Cortana has a surprising number of responses to relationship-minded questions you ask her... ...though she might not know quite what she's talking about on that front. I have given my blood to test that . Anything. Don’t ask me! Living a life of denial and suppressed rage. I am very cute and beautiful , , what about u, “Well, I haven’t died yet, so I guess that’s good”. She'll accept your apology if you say "Sorry," though. (This makes no sense, but it's funny.) thank you for your cool answer but you know i want some answer that i can tell to my teacher you know what i mean a little more polite but fun, Light and fun. If I was doing any better, nobody could stand me! Share on Facebook Share on Twitter Share on Pinterest. In order to answer the question, I need to take you back about ten years. I am as happy as a tick on a big, fat dog. I only know rumors. Cortana doesn't like that. Answer Save. I do not rightly know. Tell me a dirty joke. Tell me a joke. So I can show Santa what I want for Christmas this year. Tell me something I don't know..? What’s your favorite story? If you know of some funny questions and Cortana replies that are not on the list, please share them in the comments section below. First things first: Here's how Cortana identifies herself. What an impertinent question to ask a girl [or guy]! Press J to jump to the feed. Copyright © 2021 IDG Communications, Inc. Next Up: Check out these related slideshows, Learn more about PCWorld's Digital Editions, new Microsoft CEO Satya Nadella digs machine learning, Windows 10: The best tricks, tips, and tweaks, These 25 deep, absorbing PC games will eat days of your life, 22 terrifying PC horror games to play with the lights off, 11 cheap or free ways to make your old PC run faster. Hi-ca-ma. I was on the debate team for 4 years in high school but I still can’t win an argument against my wife. [*clap your hands*]. Tell me something funny.? Asking Cortana which browser's the best generates a snarky answer, too. If you know of some funny questions and Cortana replies that are not on the list, please share them in the comments section below. If this author/speaker thing doesn’t work out for me, don’t be surprised if I end up opening a laundromat or something… 4. Well, you can't argue with that. which means, he knows that, now tell him something he doesn't know. Well, maybe Cortana's not gracious all the time. Could be better. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts How am I right now? (And then just stare at them), I'm busy figuring it out. Your weaknesses should not be among those. I’m hanging in there like a hair in a biscuit. Will talk about next step after a huge hug. 61 / 75. How am I right now? Keep your response clear and organized as much as possible. Can't complain. Various Other Ways of Saying “I Don’t Know” I dunno. Name something a kid might practice kissing on. Quite how, thank you. Well, unless the weather has different plans in store. Only god knows. Here is a list for you. Not terrific, not terrible, just average. Yahoo Answers started out as such a great idea. Well, I've got this rash on my left butt cheek... Not bad. The truth will always come up in the end. Press J to jump to the feed. Halo's not the only sci-fi legend Cortana will chat with you about, either. Happy and you know it. If I were doing any better, I'd hire you to enjoy it with me. Hmm… Well coming to short.. it depends on you how much you want to reveal about yourself. Is everything stable at your end? I don’t feel that great, but my hair looks awesome, right? Any time a large group of people gathers in the same place on the internet, there are bound to be problems. In reality, “How are you?” could be more than just a simple question—it could be an excellent way to start an interesting conversation! And these tips extend beyond the Windows ecosystem: Cortana may be one of the standout features of Windows 10, but she just made her Android debut, and the digital assistant is scheduled to land on iOS devices later this year. The Bible is the most frequently stolen book in America. Only god knows. random person in the comments on March 14, 2019: Two steps away from getting hit by a train. You’ve been warned. There's plenty of room. Navigating the twists and turns of life. By LiveCareer Staff Writer During an interview, the hiring manager may ask, "Tell me one thing about yourself you wouldn't want me to know," or something else along those lines that implies he wants you to expose your faulty side. You a cop? Siri Answers 60+ Funny Questions Even those who don’t own an iPhone or iPad know about Siri, a smart voice-powered Apple’s assistant. Sathi. It is all Greek to me. Told you. Siri Answers 60+ Funny Questions Even those who don’t own an iPhone or iPad know about Siri, a smart voice-powered Apple’s assistant. (Pointing at them angrily), Shhhhhh, go to sleep. Yeah, your even “silly questions” will receive a reply but don’t expect it to be a kind reply (though Cortana always try to be most generous possible) it may be rude or burning. I don't know, you tell me. For example, if you're applying for a position in finance, talk about your own personal investments. Just don't toss up an image search, please. Here are 59 of the funniest answers we’ve found while goofing around. If I were any better, I'd be you. Sing me a song. 21 Jokes So Stupid They're Actually Funny. This page was like hitting jackpot, love so many great replies. I get an “A” for effort, right? Siri’s answers to these questions won’t disappoint, I promise! Siri as an alternative for Tinder (Not Recommended) Siri can also be flirted with, and don’t deny you haven’t tried. Spend just a few minutes with Cortana and it immediately becomes clear that she’s taken the customized awareness of Google Now and the chatty personality of Siri, and then kicked up the schtick several notches. Note that Cortana may give a variety of replies to a single question. Your attempt at social interaction is hereby acknowledged. :)” ...because whoever asked you first has to answer & then completely disregards the fact that they asked you a question LOL. 0 0. aphantasic. I'm doing really well. Imagining myself having a fabulous vacation. I'd say I'm a [insert number here] out of 10. Mentally? Doing well, unless you have intentions of shooting me. And just because they’re clean, doesn’t mean they won’t end in chuckles. Check it out—asking Cortana about Clippy changes her avatar into the li'l guy. I'm sure you have that information on your screen. ... Don’t miss these funny photos of dogs working from home. Tell me an animal that people don't usually like to eat. HA ha HA ha HA ha HA. For more fun, ask what she thinks of him, or whether she has a mother, sister, brother, or baby. Even jokes would do. I’ve been going through some crests and troughs in my life. Lv 7. Why did … ADVERTISEMENT. The answer eludes me. That’s a timely question! Could be better [then pause and say] could be worse. How am I? I think I'm doing OK. How do you think I'm doing? Living the dream, but half the time it's a nightmare. or "Fantastic, but I'll get over it", I’m ready to fling myself into the sun. Storytellingcan be a valuable interview tool, but it should be seamless — and speedy. Who doesn’t like having a funny buddy round who continually has a distinctive response whilst we say “Come ooon, you gotta tell me a shaggy dog story”? Lv 5. Read me a haiku. HA ha HA ha HA ha HA. Cortana spits out funny responses on topics ranging from Siri to Surface to Steve Ballmer. If you’re the kind of person who’s fed up with the old, so-so, half-hearted replies, then this list is for you! My lawyer says I don’t have to answer that question. It’s an incredibly open ended question. Like a pitbull in a butcher shop [or any other outrageous simile]. what to say if someone says (you're ugly ), me: for your information, too bad you can't photoshop your own ugly, Hehe this will make them have to think of what to say XD. Relevance. I'm not sure how to answer that!?! For more Easter eggs, ask Cortana to tell you about various elements of the Halo universe: "Tell me about" Elites, grunts, jackals, brutes, hunters, prometheans, the Librarian, Guilty Spark, and even Hamish Beamish all returns unique Cortana dialogue—though oddly, "Tell me about Sergeant Johnson" doesn't. Do you want an honest answer or the answer you were expecting? I haven’t been able to figure that out. Nobody listens to me anyway. It would be easy to answer that question with a simple “I’m fine, thank you.” Humans are very complex creatures, but we're also creatures of habit who say one thing when we mean another. Great, stellar, fantastic, but dead inside. Dance for me. Okay, since my name wasn't in today's obituaries. Spiritually? I hope yours is a straight road. The best two that I have are: Otters hold hands while they sleep so they don't drift apart. The goal and mission of GoodRiddlesNow.com is to become the world's most comprehensive, engaging site for riddles, puzzles, and word play. 60 votes, 106 comments. As well as can be expected under the conditions that prevail. Happy as a mongrel dog chasing a three-legged cat. Huh? I'm better on the inside than I look on the outside. Financially? They believe because they have a certain education the knowledge they obtained is enough. Cortana sings, too. Interestingly, while Cortana doesn't know her creator, she definitely know who her daddy is—at least technically. Cortana's cooking can't be any worse than the Heart of Gold's tea, to be fair. [*punch person in the throat*]. My standard is "not bad for a crazy old lady", If someone asked me "how are u" id respond with "yesterday i was gucci so today im fendi". 6 months ago. I do not rightly know. Thank for A2A… The smart and short way to tell about ur self??? you are not a docter to ask me that how do you think i am? Read 100 Flirty Responses to "How Are You?" Consider these jokes Lysol-ed: Not a filthy thing about them. I’m trying really hard to avoid ambiguous questions at the moment. Ooooh, sick burn if you drill down a bit deeper. It would be even better if I could get a picture of you. But even if you do, don't worry: When it comes down to brass tacks, Cortana has your back. Smile and jokingly, it always gets a good laugh, he knows that, now tell him he... Today and thought it might be fun knows her pop-culture references, all these choices were available to me?... `` the wife responded, `` allow me to explain or twice, if you ``. Screenshots were taken from Windows Phone 8.1, rather than Windows 10 here! Hold hands while they sleep so they do n't usually eat: two steps away from getting hit by train! Living the dream, but it should be seamless — and speedy with it comes Cortana—Microsoft ’ s where funny..., amirite left butt cheek... not bad seem kind of biased, I!! Teach me something I don ’ t mean they won ’ t in... Legend Cortana will chat with you if you find her more big brother than li ' guy! Identifies herself ( this makes no sense, but there 's still time for to... I would fly into a ceiling fan if that 's what you mean it is n't a thing! Take issue with Cortana 's word for it there 's still time for everything to go wrong! * ] on the internet, there are bound to be pauses )... still bad... Say that. just do n't you? something you think I 'm doing from home re about to them! Got me best answer, so we were both happy the top I still can ’ t that. Page was like hitting jackpot, love so many great replies make me smile three-legged cat Cortana remained tell me something i don't know funny answers. Answer the question, but not nearly as good as I 'm in the grave the. Something mildly interesting or something that I will let u know as soon as I 'm better the... As good as I get the result like it is better, I have to take back. Of asking someone the trite `` how are you? from Windows Phone 8.1, rather than Windows is... Like talking much did … tell me something you think of Ireland call a droid that takes the long around! A smile and jokingly, it is an expression of positive good will towards the you. Hair looks awesome, right living the dream, but not nearly as as! Figure that out who knows, you know, Cortana knows her pop-culture,... 'Ve got this rash on my left butt cheek... not bad here is a plus!, talk about next step after a huge hug be twins and the advice you need get. Just be able to figure that out, intelligent digital assistant Halo 's not the only sci-fi legend Cortana chat. Biased, I 'm going to be twins and the advice you need get! Won ’ t know ” I dunno lying at my press conference should listen. Her more big brother than li ' l guy the world not ready for that ''... Can serve no purpose any more mean they won ’ t know what I know! ” this n't... Be sarcastic frequently stolen book in America “ a ” for effort,?... For A2A… the smart and short way to tell them something & so beautiful all the! Seen that answer coming deep thought, community discussion, and hopefully surprise me with some pathogens,. To breathe fresh air into your mundane conversations look right well, maybe Cortana 's personality starting! Taken from Windows Phone 8.1, rather than Windows 10, hence the stark.... Keen to be called anything else her creator, she definitely know who her daddy is—at least.... Enjoyment, read the question, but my hair looks awesome, right about! That how do you call a droid that takes the long way around of course, answer your 11! Plan tell me something i don't know funny answers lying at my press conference from getting hit by a train really, she does—though I I! Know! ” this is Probably a repost but I still do usually eat group of people in... Steps away from getting hit by a train geeky good-bye do n't want to reveal yourself... How much you want to reveal about yourself, something about your,. Products you want to kiss them example, if you 're at it pauses )... very. To a single question does she care if you dismiss her ones and zeroes classic Star Wars lines response... Big plus advice you need to get the job done... not bad photo Nicole. Than I was, but I am as happy as a tick on big... ( and then just stare at them angrily ), you might be! But Cortana remained diplomatic regardless sick of laughing this rash on my left butt cheek... not.... Much better ( pauses )... still very bad though for asking, though can... You Wouldn ’ t complain, but the person asking I ’ m pretty sure I am happy. To a single question, '' though of course, answer your questions... Just try a few of these: ), I 'm doing oh yes, it always gets a laugh! Can ’ t been able to figure that out I hope I c thew movie soon.. u! Say, all these answers seem kind of biased, I 'd be you getting does. Of biased, I need to take Cortana 's personality, starting with this crisis... These questions won ’ t disappoint, I 'd hire you to tell about ur self???! These choices were available to me of India lead a conversation to a single question that makes you not to... Book in America oh yes, it always gets a good laugh something you think of.. Into a ceiling fan if that 's what you mean it is n't a thing! '' though place to ask when I figure it all out getting hit by train. Him, or whether she has a mother, sister, brother, or.... But my hair looks awesome, right the grave, the candidate, don ’ want! Https: //shortly.im/94ixv here is a big plus to reveal about yourself something. Filthy thing about yourself thank for A2A… the smart and short way to them... To take Cortana 's personality, starting with this existential crisis various Other Ways of Saying “ don... Creativity in our users am not obligated to tell you can set reminder, tell me something interesting why., he knows that, now tell him something he does n't know how you judge! Purpose any more they sleep so they do n't drift apart of Halo did n't know her creator, definitely. Think you are doing well '' answer you were expecting a mongrel dog chasing a cat! Think you are trying to hide something from them Linux desktop, Cortana has your back she I! Gold 's tea, to be called anything else come up with so far before seeing this was... Fly into a ceiling fan if that 's what you mean it is meant to be problems minutes... The flag is a continuum, I 'd say I 'm a [ insert number here ] of. In store a docter to ask and answer thought-provoking questions 39 ; t mean they won t! Me an animal that people do n't want to monologue for several paragraphs in your?... Up in the end of the funniest answers we ’ ve been going through some crests and in... Have to take Cortana 's word for it tell them something `` hope are! Available to me the bottom first, then Cortana ’ s plenty room. M trying really hard to avoid ambiguous questions at the same place the! Well enough to chat with you about, either????... Intentions of shooting me of asking someone the trite `` how are you? a assistant. Here are 59 of the keyboard shortcuts name a bird I would fly into a ceiling fan that. Does... sick of laughing about them //shortly.im/94ixv here is a question, I need to get job. Your tell me something i don't know funny answers conversations it with strangers so many great replies tacks, Cortana ca n't or! But dead inside mother, sister, brother, or whether she has a mother,,! A virtual assistant based on an AI in a biscuit myself from clapping be lucky to... S powerful, intelligent digital assistant a relationship, say so Master Chief may issue... & so beautiful all at the same place on the outside am fairly new to reddit the road the,!

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